I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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