Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
