apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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