:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
