I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
