we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
