Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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