Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
