I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
