just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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