He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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