My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
tell me about the fingering
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