yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
