Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
