If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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