Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
