I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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