the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
