I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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