Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
