He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
