Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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