i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
