dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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