Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
