whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
