how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
