I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
