six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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