And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
