you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
