no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
