even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
