There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
