Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
