dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
