I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
