This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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