nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
