so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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