she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
