i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
