Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
