Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
