RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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