now i know why i became what i already was.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
