I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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