The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
