Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
