yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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