Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
