So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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