I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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