check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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