there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
