shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
