Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
