rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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