of course. lets lasso hookers.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
