the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
