So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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