Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You made out with two different species that night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
