is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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