found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
