that's an acceptable place to lick
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
